Stinking of FUNK

I don't know if it's the cruel deprivation of serotonin that living in Ohio inflicts upon us or my ever growing to-do list, but I've definitely fallen into a funk!

You tell me what is worse...

Going from this



To this

------OR------

February To-Do List
Plan Kami's birthday party
Have Kami's birthday party
Unload overflowing storage unit back into our overflowing house
Take house off market
Register boys for Kindergarten...sniff, sniff...are you serious?!!!
Register boys for soccer
Register boys for spring hockey
Register Kami for some 1 on 1 mommy and/or daddy time
Figure in the above 3 into our calendar
Recover documents from crashed computer
Buy new computer
Plan winter and spring remodeling projects
Get taxes done
Create a plan of attack to get rid of the baby weight I can no longer say is baby weight when she's almost 2 and they're 5!

It was somewhere between unpacking from vacation paradise and realizing I won't see those clothes again until after 2 more months of winter and sitting through kindergarten information night while trying not to sob in my latte, that I realized I was seriously missing a motivational gene and needing a happy pill of some sort!  I would imagine if they packaged a happy pill for mommy it would have to include a serious dose of caffeine, a heaping serving of pinot, a dash of patience, a pinch of "me time", and a twist of chocolate.  If Pfizer would only return my messages we could really get this thing on the market!

In all honestly, there are just those days when you look around and wonder "what did I accomplish today?"  I know I'm exhausted, so I know I did SOMETHING, but I can't physically see what I did.  And only we can say that to ourselves, because when the hubs walks in and looks around and dares to ask, "Sooo...what did you do all day?" I will seriously rip his face off!!!!  But, the worst days are when you put the littles to bed and you feel like all you did was yell...those are the worst!  Lately it feels that those days are a little more frequent than few and far between, which has probably helped push shove me off the ledge and into funk.  So before drowning myself in white wine I'm trying to find a way to climb my way out.

I don't think I would ever deny I am somewhat of a control freak, so when I feel like the control is slipping away I do 2 things...1.) Overhaul the house in an organizing frenzy and 2.) Retail therapy.  Obviously the organizing is an outwardly way to obtain control in midst of chaos (no need for a Freudian correlation there), but it does do double duty to get things organized, cleaned out, and help run a little bit smoother.  This is also helping us prepare for the storage unit we'll be moving back in after we take our house off the market.  (Check back for my organization projects I completed.)  The retail part of the therapy is not necessarily about the buying, although very therapeutic, but it's the odd serenity that comes with walking through Target, ALONE, without a real NEED for anything, but just taking the TIME to LOOK at everything without 6 hands flying out the cart grabbing at anything that has sugar, shoots darts, or needs glue.  Ahhh...it's the simple things sometimes.

So instead of ripping my hair out or buying stock in a grape vineyard, don't judge me, I just have to tell myself that yes, I am mom, yes, I am chef, yes, I am taxi driver, yes, I am accountant, yes, I am wife, daughter, sister, aunt, granddaughter, friend,  BUT...I AM HUMAN!  I can have my moment and lock myself in the bathroom for a few minutes and eat chocolate (shhh...don't tell, they don't know that's what I'm doing in there), I will not go to mommy jail if the laundry gets piled up, and tomorrow will bring a whole new day of reasons I will yell at my children so they'll forget what I yelled about the day before! 

I will never pretend I have it all figured out, but I will always share the good, the bad, and the sour.  The greatest therapy of all and what makes it all worth it is watching these 3 knuckleheads having a round at Just Dance 2....because sometimes you just have to let it all go! 

(Yes, that is my Christmas card holder still up...again, don't judge!)

Cheers,